Different
by knifeinback
Summary: Sam was never the same person you once knew eight years ago.
1. Different

Here it is, my story...Kinda weird...but I warned you now....Dedicated to Destroyer of Cities Yes...owner of the theme itself....Well, I give the author props ^_^ Hope you really enjoy this....thing I came up with...I decided that this isn't a one-shot just so I can post faster....PLZ REVIEW PPL!! :D

* * *

Sam was never the same person you once knew eight years ago.

You can clearly recall the day she dragged you into her bathroom to show you something that you've been oblivious to ever since you became friends. And yeah naturally you were freaked out and confused when she took your hand and forced it over this growing bulge at the fly of her pants but it still wasn't enough to just drop her as a friend.

You remember her face, all red and wet from the tears that rolled down her cheeks. It was the first day where Sam broke down in your arms, and it was a definite scare. She had told you that it was okay if you didn't want to be friends anymore, but how could she say that? Your friendship with her meant a lot, and she knew that very well.

Sam had been keeping this secret from you for a very long time, but when she finally felt the effects of puberty, it was hard to hide it any longer. She wasn't a transvestite or anything like that, but it seems that something went wrong while Sam was developing inside her mother. She was a girl, but yet she was a boy.

When she told you, you couldn't, didn't say anything in response except for the small whispers that told her everything was going to be alright. Since then, you've proven that you're a loyal friend, and her secret is safe with you. You've helped her dress safely and casually without any...complications ever since you found out. The trust between you two developed into a very strong hold, and you did everything in your power to keep things the same.

--

"This is gross," Sam muttered. "Uh huh," you agreed, more like squealed as you turned your head away from the video being shown.

Sam hated sex Ed. and so did most people in your class. The famous video of a woman giving birth was being shown, and it was explicit. To add to it, your teacher tried to be funny and rewinded it a couple times, taking fun out of the whole classe's reactions.

That Wendy girl was disgusted but laughing at all the other classmates. "Can you believe this is what we have to go through to have a child?" Wendy said in disbelief. You sat there just nodding, hoping for a subject change for Sam's sake. You watched as Sam sank in her seat a little more, trying to avoid any conversations. You began to feel bad for her.

Life must have been so hard in her shoes. She didn't know what clothes to wear, what bathroom to use, or what sexuality to have. It hurt to see her so confused, and it was worse now since you have this class. But Sam is strong, you know she is. This can't get in her way because you will always be there for her. You want to know what's going on in her head sometimes, to see if it's any different than what went on in yours.

The bell suddenly rang, everyone getting up and scrambling out of the class because of its awkward lesson. "You okay, Sam?" you asked carefully, her back turned to you.

"Fantastic," she muttered. Then she was gone. It was going to bug you the entire day.

Sam's muscles were visible as she flexed her arms drastically in order to lift the 40 pound weights. You knew you'd find her here, after a crappy day at school. You sat at the bench next to her, watching her lift and concentrate.

She was wearing a sports bra, leaving her abdominal area bare for you to see. She was pretty much ripped in your eyes, and soft looking. Your hand stroked her stomach curiously, wondering how soft and hard worked so well together. Her eyes shot open and she calmly put the weight back over the railing. You jerked your hand back and giggled nervously. "I was just...have you been working out?" you asked lamely when you knew she obviously has been working out. She doesn't say anything, just stares at you.

"I'm gonna hit the jacuzzi, you wanna join me?" she asked ignoring your stupid question because you always come here to swim and she figured maybe this time you can both relax. "Sure, let me get changed." Sam followed you into the locker room and entered a small changing stall. You entered the one next to her and began stripping off your clothing. "So why didn't you talk to me after school?" you asked just to break the silence. "I had things to do," she answered quickly. "Hey can you tie my bikini top for me?" she asked suddenly. "Sure." After successfully tying yours, you helped Sam with her own.

"Alright let's hit it," Sam said after, already on her way out. Your eyes trailed over her bare back now, and where the hem of her shorts started. It was a shame that she had to wear them and cover up her still sexy milky thighs, but she had to. Sure Sam had a man's body part but in no way was Sam a man to you. She was the same Sam inside, but she revealed new things everyday like different emotions you didn't recognize from her.

Mood ring. She reminds you of one. And you do have her wrapped around your finger. She just won't admit it.

A nice burning sensation started at your feet and inched up more as you dipped slowly into the hot water of the small jacuzzi. It felt really hot, but it relaxed you. As soon as you sat, you looked over to see Sam sitting at the edge of the pool. "I thought you were going to join me in here?" you asked her slumped back. "I am," she grunted, seeming busy with something. "Then what're you doing over there by the pool?" you asked, playing with the small foam in the middle. "Those snotty middle school kids will be here all loud and noisy pretty soon," she explained. You heard a faint sound of liquid trickling and then realized what she was doing.

"Sam! That's disgusting! Don't pee inside of the pool!" You rasped at her, a blush rising to your cheeks. "Relax, it'll be clean by tomorrow," she says like it's no big deal at all to whoever swims in there. Your eyebrows lowered as you looked around to make sure nobody was watching. Then Sam got up and walked over. "I can't believe you," you snickered quietly. "Ssshh," she hushed, index finger at her lips like a little kid. Then there was a splash, and hot water hit your face. "Sam!" you yelled."Sorry."

You spent a lot of time pushing the foam button and jet button while bobbing around the rim of the small area. It was fun and watching Sam put foam on her face was priceless. She imitated a lot of people which made you do the same in return. It was good material for your web show, you thought. The middle school kids weren't that annoying which made you feel bad since they were swimming around in Sam's pee, but you have to admit, being in a clean place with Sam and quietly knowing was pretty funny. It was heaven when they were gone, and you fell asleep in there for a moment.

The feeling of something soft and wet on your neck woke you up as you began to notice Sam hovering under you, her lips grazing your skin. Even though it was an indoor thing, the place seemed pretty dim, and you shifted a little to feel something probing your inner thigh. Sam was in la la land, enjoying the feel of your body while you were asleep. She obviously didn't realize you were fully awake now though, as she nibbled on the side of your neck. Since you were wearing something as thin as a bikini, and the water pretty much thinned out Sam's shorts, both your body parts were really touching down there. And from the feel of it, you can conclude that you were making Sam very_ happy_, even in sleep.

You purposely groaned when Sam's hands slipped past your waist, making her float backward, looking at your face. You made it look like you were dazed from waking up, but you were blushing so you hope she didn't notice. "Hey," she whispered, seeing you come to life. "Hi," you breathed, fixing your position. "You fell asleep," she giggles. And you want to ask her what she was doing to you, but you don't. "It's getting late," you tell her. "Yeah."

"Wanna come over?"

"Sure."

--

"I think I need to really have a talk with you," Sam sighs while spinning the arrow for the game Twister. "About?" you asked with a tight voice, since you had to speak over your shoulder. "About my sexuality," she struggles to say. "I'm listening," you let her know.

"So I think I'm into people with brown hair," she says like it's exciting news. Then she puts her left hand on a red circle. "That's great," you say awkwardly. It was a random thing to say and you're pretty sure that has nothing to do with sexuality. "And brown eyes," she adds. You look down at her since now she's lower than you, and she's on her back and stretched out in order to touch the circles required. "Okay," you say slowly, assuming that she's up to something. "Do you already have someone in mind?" you ask.

"Sort of." She spins the arrow for you and it lands on right hand blue. "Crap, blue is three rows away," you mutter.

"You gotta stretch, Carls," she laughs. You look down at her, your hair pooling over your shoulders, hers a blonde mess all over the mat. "Why are you on your back?" you ask suddenly since it looks uncomfortable. "So I could look up at you."

"Hn," you hum, trying to reach the blue circle with your right hand. You got to it but had a feeling you wouldn't hold out for long.

Minutes later, you and Sam were tangled up in a very big mess of limbs. If you didn't know any better, you would assume that Sam purposely picked the colors close to you in order to press herself on you. You didn't mind much, until the colors got harder to reach. Sam giggled at you as you went too far and stumbled out of balance. You lost.

Your body created a domino effect as Sam fell right after you.

"I win!" she cheered still on the ground. "That was fun," you breathed. You were tired of holding positions for a while. You were even sweating.

You crawled your way up to Sam and rested your head on her shoulder. Her breathing matched yours, all heavy and ragged, and for a minute there it looked like you two were being intimate on the Twister mat.

"Is it Freddie?" you whispered against her neck.

She looked down at you and smiled. "You're getting cold."

--

Hot steaming water hit your skin lightly as you showered, making your skin glow. The soap washed off slowly and the water got colder. You knew letting Sam take a shower first was going to create problems. When you stepped out, you found your clothes on the other side of the bathroom and the toilet seat up."Sam," you sighed, drying yourself with the towel she used. She was defintely getting the behavior of a guy, leaving toilet seats up and sneaking into your bathroom while you were showering to pee.

She was worse than Spencer! And she actually used your bathroom.

All dressed, you entered your room to find Sam taking over your bed, a hand in her pants. Speaking of acting like a guy. Of course she pulled her hand out when she saw you, but you knew.

"Hey, I was thinking," Sam started as she shot up from bed. You instantly noticed her converses on, shoe laces untied like always. "Maybe we can go out for some ice cream," she said looking at you.

"But it's nine at night."

"They're still open," she shrugged. You glanced down at your clothes, pajamas, and looked back up at her. "It's an ice cream store, not church," she laughs.

"Yeah, okay."

--

You like the idea of holding Sam's hand. When it brushed against yours while you were walking side to side, you just grabbed it.

It was warm and full, and she didn't pull away.

She stepped closer, and that's when it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You held her hand tighter.

--

Sam was on a date. She met a girl at the Groovie Smoothies and you don't know most of the details but she's on a date.

She's probably all flirty and pretty and better than you. And here you are, sitting at home in bed, wishing you were the one Sam was with. You hope to god that they don't go to bed, Sam can't just take the first opportunity. Right?

It was getting later, and your mind was over working itself so you decided to just end it by going to sleep. It wasn't easy, you had to watch the most boring shows ever.

Everything was fuzzy and white as you blanked out.

The bed dipped drastically, waking you up slowly. It was still dark, but there was someone in bed with you. You rolled over slowly, hitting the warmth.

"I can't do it," it whispered.

"Sam?" you murmured, still sleepy. She scooted closer to you. "Hey sleepy head," she whispered against your hair.

"Sam, it's one in the morning...how was your date?"

"It was okay...Marilyn was a nice girl," she breathed. "But it didn't work out," she added after.

"What happened?" you asked, lifting yourself up with your elbows.

"I can't stop thinking of you," she sighed like if it was an occuring problem.

"Me either," you whisper back. Then she cuddled up close and sniffed your hair. It was going to be a calm night.

* * *

To be continued.... P.S. I hope there weren't too many errors...


	2. CHESS

Chapter 2...I hope the small short chapters that I could come up with are enough....Once again, I dedicate this to **Destroyer of Cities**, so if you haven't checked out **iPoke**, then go do that! It's awesome :D

ENJOY!! and review PPPLLLZZZ!!! thank you 3333  


* * *

Sam's mother was always in your head.

Sam's mood revolved around her, and you wondered what usually makes her sulk and aggressive most of the time. You also wondered why Sam was always so sweet to you. She treats Spencer like Freddie when she gets that bad. She also never lets you bond with her mother for too long.

That was about to change.

Sam was asleep in her room when you decided to drop by. You had slipped your shoes off and strolled upstairs to see her barely wearing anything, but sleeping nonetheless. She looked so relaxed.

You put your bags down and looked around. Her room was a mess, as usual. Shaking your head, you started to pick up the clothes that were tossed everywhere. She did have the tendency to just throw her clothes off of her when she slept, but not with you. She knew better.

After putting her clothes in a nice neat pile, you sat on her bed carefully and looked over. Her sheets were warm, and she was in only a tanktop and boxer shorts. She was on her stomach so you didn't really see any...parts, but you definitely got a nice view of her ass in those underwear. You wanted to actually strip your clothing off and lay down next to her yourself but you were able to restrain the temptation. Your eyes traveled to her dresser and noticed a bottle strangely colored in black, and it caught your attention deeply.

You took it, and opened the cap to figure out what kind of lotion it was. It didn't smell like much so you searched for the label on the front. Your eyes widened and you put the bottle back the way you found it. Your feet led you quietly out of the room as you thought to yourself. _'Why would Sam have personal lubricant?'_

It worried you. You feared that Sam was sleeping around or something. You felt selfish, but you cared for her. And you most definitely did not want Sam sleeping with some whore. Not someone who can tell her secret to the world.

You're a small bit bothered that she wouldn't tell you if she got lucky, or even a little piece of ass, but you suppose it's just too personal and that's fine.

Dropping the subject, you strolled into the living room hesitantly, and spotted Sam's mother playing chess with what seemed like Sam's cat. You backed up into the kitchen and knocked on the door frame to let her know you were there before intruding. "Mrs. Puckett?"

"Carly?" she questioned, not looking away from the chess board. "Yeah, it's me," you answered softly.

"Come in," she murmured, so absorbed in the game. You moved slowly into the room and sat on the single couch next to her. You couldn't believe your eyes. The cat was actually playing chess! "I got you now, Frothy," Mrs. Puckett snickered. This was totally weird but you managed to smile at how heart warming it was. Mrs. Puckett hated Frothy most of the time.

"So, is anything wrong?" she asks you, slightly glancing. Then she takes this huge bottle of alchohol and chugs some of it down like nothing. Your smile fades, and you realize why Sam hates it here. You never really thought Sam's mother was bad, the least. Disgusting and vulgar, yeah maybe. But the drinking type? Never crossed your mind, and you never witnessed it. Sam never mentioned things like this.

"Um, no. Not really," you try to answer without letting the bottle bother you. "Sam was sleeping so I just thought I'd drop in to see if I could help or keep you company with anything," you answer honestly. She looks at you.

"Do you know how to play chess?"

"Not really," you giggle. "Would you mind teaching me?" you ask her sincerely. She looks at you tenderly this time. "Uh, sure...sure. Just...come over here." She swats Frothy off the stool across from her for you to sit in.

As you sit on the stool and focus on how nicely Mrs. Puckett explains everything to you, you realize how much it hurts to see her chugging alchohol every once in a while. This is what pained Sam everyday, and it only took you three minutes to find that out.

--

After a while you got the hang of the game, but you were still losing horribly. Mrs. Puckett was pretty smart when it came to this, even though she was still drinking. She wasn't all that bad.

"So, you know about Sam's buddies, right?" she suddenly asks. "Her buddies?" you repeat, trying to get something out of it. "Her boys," she says a little more clear this time, gesturing awkwardly. "OH! Yeah. yes. I've known for a while now," you cough out, flustered. You've never had a conversation about Sam's junk before, not even with Sam herself. You change the subject by making a terrible move which you now lose for. Mrs. Puckett flicked your king to the floor, and yelled in victory like a child.

"Check meat!"

"Meat?" you giggle. That's the first time you saw Sam's mom mirror her. "Did I say it wrong?"

"I'm not a chess expert, but I'm pretty sure it's check _mate_," you laugh, which makes her laugh in return. Bonding with Sam's mother wasn't too bad, and it's like now she knew why you and Sam were best friends. You were good for her daughter.

"Mom! Where's the root beer!?" A sleepy Sam yelled from the kitchen. Her head poked in and her face looked blank. She was probably still tired.

"Carly, what're you doing here?" she asked you more softly. "Just hanging around," you reply smiling to let her know you're having a grand time with her mother. She smiles and comes over to you, hugging your upper body, since you were sitting down. You think she just kissed you on the head; you felt it. "Don't tell me you're playing chess with my mom," she snickers. Then her face twists into something like dead serious. "Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't want you drinking when Carly is over," she spits.

"Don't worry, I ain't drunk."

"That's not the point!" Sam shakes her head and walks away. "Come on, Carly," she mumbles.

You look at her mom to silently apologize before getting up and following Sam into her room. "Your mom is really cool," you tell her if anything to make her feel better. "She's a drunk," she retorts. "But she's really smart," you try to point out. "And nice, and you know she loves you right?"

Sam runs a hand through her hair and takes a deep breath. "Can we not talk about her right now?"

"Okay, sure."

--

There's nothing like TV all day, and that's pretty much what you and Sam did for three hours. The scenario was different this time though. You were in her room. The lubricant came to mind suddenly, and you began to watch her watching TV. You grew very curious.

"Sam?"

She looked over at you; didn't say a thing. She wasn't angry, just tired again. The day was boring.

"Do you think that...maybe you can show me...." you started.

You did your famous, fiddle with everything when you're nervous to ask thing. "Show you what?" she yawned, not getting the point at all.

You thought about what you were saying and mentally slapped yourself. "Are you having sex with anyone?" you blurted out, wanting an answer. She gaped at the question and shifted slightly. "No, why?"

"Just curious," you say quickly.

"Seriously Carly, you think I'm fooling around?" she says like she's hurt.

"No, it's just...I saw this," you gesture toward the bottle. "And I thought that maybe you were doing things that called for it..."

She starts to laugh. "That was something my mom thought I needed," she giggled. "Nothing more than an embarrassing present."

"Oh," you hummed. You felt stupid and guilty that you would assume Sam is just screwing everyone, but since she has a guy part, it could be possible. "Sorry," you apologize.

"It's okay Carly. Just really awkward," she grunts. You thought about the semi conversation you had with Mrs. Puckett, and concluded that it wasn't too bad to ask.

"So what's it like?" you whisper.

"What's what like?"

"You know, having a penis," you say secretively which causes Sam to blush a little. "Well...it's like...." she seemed to be at a loss of words. "It's just there," she stated.

"Can I...see it?" you ask hesitantly and now you're really red. Sam's red matches yours and you hear her swallow hard. "I...I can't," she sighs.

"That's fine. It's okay," you ease her.

You sit there in silence for a while before Sam speaks, more like whispers. "You can...feel it if you want," she says and she looks like she's been thinking about this opportunity for a while, but couldn't find the courage up until now that it's something you brought up. And it's not like you haven't felt it before, but that's only when you're unaware and too close. This is intentional.

"O-okay," you respond in a shaky breath. She looks like she can't believe you just said that, but then again, you look like the same.

Your hand traces the wrinkles under the comforter and you find Sam's thigh. Her bare thigh. She's still in her boxers and you're watching her face the whole time. She's looking away from you.

You're patting around, not sure where this thing starts until you feel it. Oh you feel it. Sam groans immediately at the contact and you thought maybe this hurts. "Am I hurting you?" you ask terrified.

"No, no," Sam grunts, eyes shut.

So you melt into the moment, trying to feel everything. This may never happen again.

It's pretty stiff the more you touch it, and Sam can't seem to keep her hips still. It's lengthy, bulky, a handfull, and this is all according to it still being in her underwear and not in the open. Noises escape Sam, and your stomach becomes a warm pit of mush.

"How does this feel?" you breathe to her, since she's so out of it.

"Good. So good," she moans.

You continue to stroke her and occasionally squeeze gently since you didn't know what the hell you were doing. It's the first time you've ever got in contact with one of these. Sam seemed to enjoy it anyhow.

"Hey you guys!! Dinner!!!" Sam's mom interrupted which made you stop abruptly. Sam snapped back into it and fumbled around for some pants. You noticed how big the bulge in her underwear got compared to earlier. Did you do that?

"Go downstairs. Tell my mom that I'm using the bathroom," she orders, breathlessly.

"Okay," you mutter, leaving the room. This wasn't going to be easy to get out of your head. The feeling was amazing, and you want another experience like that again. Like, soon.

* * *

3333 how was that??


	3. Web CAM

So here's another short chapter. Hope you likey :D So did you check out **ipoke** yet?? DO IT!!! You'll love it!! Same theme different story XD

So plz review and tell me interesting things!!! I'll listen to any suggestions and I do appreciate any and all reviews!!

* * *

You know about Sam a little more now. About her, and her mom, and what she does at home. How her family is.

They're crazy, a little bit different, and fun. They were a bit on the wild side when you first met them, but now you know that it's normal, actually. At parties, you would be the little innocent one in the corner. Laughing, watching, noticing.

Sam loved her family, that much you can tell from just sitting there. Every three weeks they would have a random party, and every other Thursday her uncle Buzz would come over and play some chess with her mom. Everyone calls you cupcake here, and it makes you feel at home. They all like you and most of them think you and Sam are together as a couple.

You don't really mind it. It's a cute thought because it makes Sam blush and swat them away. They always fluster her.

They were surprised that Sam could get a girl like you, even if you weren't together. You also noticed how Mrs. Puckett always makes cupcakes on Sundays. You're always over when she does.

You made sure that you told Spencer why exactly you went over there almost everyday, because you didn't want to make him worry or feel bad. He thought it was sweet of you to get close to Sam's mom to stop her from drinking so that Sam would be happy. Sam had no idea, but she enjoyed every bit of your company. Things didn't stay awkward between you two from when you felt on her member, and you were grateful.

She got the hint that you were curious, and it's not like you went in her underwear. You just put your hand on the thin clothing and felt. You both still act like it never happened.

You have to admit though, you always steal glances at her front side to make out her limp appendage. It's noticable to you when she wears skinny jeans, pajama bottoms, or anything loose. She's pretty smart to buy guy's skinny jeans to give her room. They aren't extremely skinny but when she wears belts you can see a bulge.

You realized after you rubbed on her, that you're totally obsessed over her. Your best friend has a penis, and you want to touch it all the time. At first, you thought you were insanely weird, but you assumed that it's just your hormones getting all hype because there's a shell of a boy near you all the time. And girls are attracted to boys, right?

No, they're supposed to be.

You don't know why you're packing your clothes this early in the morning, but you are. Sam is watching you, still under the covers. You were going to stay with your grandfather for a week in Yakima, so you decided to pack now. It was cold this morning and man did you hate when it rained early like this.

Sam looked you up and down, wanting to say something but kept it to herself. You looked down at the reason she was eyeing you. You had her boxers on.

You meant to tell her last night, but she was already asleep and you thought they'd make good pajamas. And they did. "Sorry, I just wanted to borrow them for one night."

She smiles and half yawns while stretching. You must look pretty hot in her underwear, because Sam's member was perky this morning. She quickly covered herself with the blanket trying to avoid catching your attention. Too late because your eyes are always on Sam.

"Why are you packing now?" she asks sadly. "Just trying to get ready now so I won't have to worry about it later," you say while folding a shirt.

"Do you _have _to go?" she sighs. You think about any possible way you can stay, but as you figured there isn't. "Yes I _have_ to go Sam," you mimick. "I'll only be gone a week," you laugh. She acts like it's forever. She grumbles and retreats back under the bed sheets.

--

Leaving home was the hardest thing. You were going to miss an iCarly, and leave all your friends to go to Yakima, ick. You were making as big a deal out of this as Sam, only because you were reminded of how it felt like when you were almost forced to live down there. It was scary.

Nothing made you more sad than when Sam walked you to the car and watched you leave in the rain. Your eyes met through the car mirror, and you almost wanted to cry. A week without Sam was like a week without life or excitement. You waved at her weakly, biting your lip. She was getting soaked, but still waved goodbye to you until she was sure the car was out of sight.

And then you were gone. You took a deep breath and sat up straight. This was going to be a long week.

--

The week was almost over, and it was like Sam was there the whole time. You talked on the phone and the computer a lot. She always texted you too. She made sure you were alright and occupied, and then jumped into the random conversations.

You flipped your laptop open, and went to your webshow. Today Sam was supposed to be attempting the show without you, and you would never miss it. Seeing her face was exactly what you needed, and watching her fling candy into the air and catching it with her mouth was a bonus. The show was pretty funny tonight, even without you. Sam sweetly mentioned that you were on vacation and how much you were missed and winked at the camera a couple times. It made you grin in return even though she could not see you.

It was an amazing experience being the star of iCarly watching it from a fan's point of view. Sam was so funny, you thought she was just fine doing the show alone.

Five minutes after the show had ended, you set up a video chat so that you could talk to Freddie also. You missed both of them deeply, and Spencer too.

"Sam, don't press that!! Wait, stop! This button. Watch the camera! Fix it, there," you hear Freddie in the background of the iCarly studio while Sam appeared on the screen. You were in bed, laughing at them.

"Hey Carls, how'd you like the show?" she said, gasping for air. She was obviously exhausted with all the stuff she had to do on her own. "I loved it," you giggled, seeing Freddie now. "Told you we could handle it," he smirked.

"How was Sam during rehearsal?" you asked Freddie like if she was a puppy and couldn't answer or behave on her own. "Late, abusive, and off task," Freddie stated with a glare.

"But we got the show done," Sam complained, shoving Freddie gently. "Good girl," you praised.

"Well, I gotta go you guys. See you tomorrow Carly," Freddie said, blowing you a kiss. Sam glared and shoved him harder. You laughed at Sam's expression and shouted your goodnight to Freddie. "He's such a nub," she snickered and shook her head.

Your laughing mellowed down and it started to get quiet between you two.

You had this smile on your face that you couldn't seem to get rid of. Not when Sam is looking at you like that with sincere eyes. "I really miss you," she cracks, eagerness in her voice. Eager for you to come home.

"I miss you too. I'll be home later on tonight though," you say softly.

Your friendship with Sam is weird. You both act like you're together, but you're not. You've thought about it lately, and it doesn't scare you anymore. Now it's like you live to see Sam caring for you so much. And you've been waiting also. Waiting for the right moment where you'll just come out and say it. You're availuable.

You want to explore Sam in many different ways now, not just her home life and family. Her mind, body, and soul.

Sam has grown irresistable, and you're enjoying the fact that she's so into you because it's so obvious. She can't hide it anymore. It's kind of sweet.

"In fact, I have to go pack again so I can leave as soon as possible."

"Okay sure," Sam muttered sadly.

"Later Sam," you said slowly, looking her in the eyes. "L-later," she stammered, your gaze making her nervous. Then something made you move, like a force, and then you were leaning in. Your lips touched the cold screen on your laptop, and stood there for a second until your eyes rolled back open and you realized what you just did.

You pulled back faster than ever and muttered a quick 'later' before turning the chat off and blushing massively. Your stomach felt like jello jiggling all around.

What in god's name did you just do? Embarrass yourself, that's what.

* * *

:) 33 P.S. How many of you notice the chapter name???? sound ironic??? Free cookies to whoever does :)


	4. Tension

Another short chapter! Yayyyyy.....well, I somehow finished this early, and I hope it's good, even though it's pretty short...:( Remember, I dont do that on purpose!! So please read and review PLZ!! I enjoy every bit of that!!

Thank you very much....P.S. Go read **iPoke**....If you have, RE-read it!!! LOL P.S.S. Glad most of you got the last chapter's pun :)

* * *

Getting back to Seattle was a relief.

You felt like you could finally breathe. It felt nice, except for the gut twisting feeling that started when you got closer to home. You were a bit nervous to face Sam after your embarrassing incident. The fact that you tried to kiss her via video chat was enough for her to just laugh in your face. That wasn't really what you wanted to come home to.

You got home when most of Seattle was asleep, and tip toed your way into your apartment. Everything in the plaza was quiet, and you didn't want to scare Lewbert or create echoing sounds that might bother the Bushwell habitants. Plus, Lewbert is too cheap to let the elevators run this late.

You were already tired because of your grandad talking to you the entire way back, and then saying goodbye again took eight whole minutes. So it was then decided that you were going to go straight to bed, no questions. You smiled to yourself in the dim hallway lights, finding it amusing that you were babysitting yourself. You finally find the right purple key with the iCarly symbol on it and quietly get yourself inside. The kitchen light is on, casting a light glow in half the living room.

You tugged your coat off and wiggled out of your boots before tip toeing up the stairs. Spencer was apparently asleep and by the darkness in your room, so was Sam. You walked in slowly, not wanting to turn the light on or trip. Just as you were thinking that, you bumped into something and flew off balance making yourself quietly yelp. You fell into the bean bag that resides in your room but still managed to make noise.

The light flicked on as you rolled over and there was Sam, in your pajama bottoms and your t-shirt. "Carly?" she asked tiredly. At least she didn't burst out laughing or anything. "I'm home," you grunted while getting to your feet. "I can see that but...why are you?" she gestured to the bean bag.

"Oh, I just fell," you giggled nervously.

Sam let out a quiet hum and walked back over to the bed. You were kind of worried, now. "You're...not happy to see me?" you assume more than ask. "Of course I am, Carly," Sam mutters. More like defends. In your head, you wonder why this sounds like an arguement. "Well, you said you missed me all week and here I am in front of you," you say a little louder. "I'm sorry," Sam whispers.

"What's the matter?" you say softer this time while taking a seat next to her. "Well," she starts, but looks away from you. You tilt your head toward her so that you could see her better. "Well what?" you whisper and get a hold of one of her hands. She's acting like there's something terribly wrong. Even worse than the fact that she witnessed you smooching your laptop. Something bad.

"My mother's in the hospital," she says with her head down. It's like something exploded in the atmosphere. Like something punched you in the stomach, depressing your air. "Oh my god, what happened? Is she okay?" your tone was broken down into one long breath. "She fell down the stairs, drinking again. My uncle is taking care of her now."

You thought about it. You felt it was your fault. Your fault that you were gone, and forgot to contact her to see how she was doing. You were too focused on Sam. "It's not your fault," Sam told you, reading your expression like an open book.

"And she's fine. Only a broken leg, that's it."

You nodded slowly, feeling bad. This was bad. "God, I'm so sorry that had to happen," you told Sam sincerely. "It's all my fault. If only I had gone home ealier today to check up on her," Sam struggled to say. Now you totally felt guilty knowing Sam was waiting for you and look what had to happen. "Anyway, when I did, I carried her to the couch and called the ambulance. Good thing, too. They said it would have been bad if no one found her like that."

You half smiled at Sam; She was practically a hero. A hero. Like when Freddie saved you years ago. It was sweet to know that Sam did this for her mom. She was a hero to you, too.

"You're a hero," you smiled sweetly at her. It was like repeating this situation all over again. Sam may not be hurt, but she still saved her mom, and the memory was creeping back up on you. Thank god Sam wasn't hurt though.

"That's stupid, no I'm not," Sam denied. "Are too," you argued back.

It was then that you replayed Freddie's incident in your head. The last time he denied it, you ended up kissing him, and that's what you felt like doing to Sam except this time you had wanted to for a long time. Your tongue was practically dancing behind your lips for her. "To me," you added to make it easier for you to lean in like with Freddie. You basically pretended Sam was him so that you wouldn't turn so red. Your mind would come around during the contact.

Sam was frozen the entire way. From where you paused to look in her eyes to where you were now, she was not moving. The instant friction your lips made against hers was incredible. It was a sweet kiss, you stood still for her.

She pressed into you a little harder, you noticed. Her lips weren't puckered so she was more open, but you were the one kissing her anyway. She was obviously not expecting this since you were doing all the work. You were the one moving your lips at least, and kissing hers over and over again. And Sam, well she was just there. She didn't know what to do, and you felt like you were kissing a wall. A wall with lips.

And you didn't want to stop. You at least wanted her to participate before stopping.

She started coming around when you rested your hands on her shoulders. After that, hands were in your hair, and her kisses were more open and hot. You never remembered her tongue being this flexible. This was more awkward than it sounded, and it made you sweat a little. It was just too damn quiet.

Sam started slowing down her kissing pace, and they got smaller and smaller until the point where she was just breathing against your lips. You stopped as well, but then began dragging your lips over her neck. She was breathing hard and giving you all the neck you could reach. You kissed every part delicately and slowly, nibbling here and there. Apparently Sam couldn't take much of that as she forcefully laid you out on the bed, half on top of you.

"What are we doing?" she groaned into your ear as she pressed herself against you. "I dunno," you rasped back, looking down. Sam had a tent in the pajama's.

"We can stop," you muttered against the side of her neck. Although you knew what an erection was, it looked extremely painful. All her weight pressed into you then, and she must have been exhausted. You layed like that for a while, petting her hair. All the sexual tension dropped as you felt her erection against your inner thigh shrinking. Everything was calm as you started rubbing her back until a large thump sounded from the hallway.

Sam then instantly dove off of you to the floor on the side of the bed. It scared you.

"Sam??" you asked rather loudly. She arose with a blow tube at her mouth and ran out of the room completely.

"Again!?" you shouted, amused by the sudden realization that they were playing assassin again. Without you.

You sat there pouting. "Am I that bad?" you asked the wall.


	5. Forget it

Hey guys! Here ya go!! Hope you like it and remember, every REVIEW counts!!!

* * *

Mrs. Puckett was more than happy to see you.

She looked broken and out of it when you arrived, but she still showed signs of happiness. The alchohol must have buzzed her brain, she seemed to mix things up like when she talked. You didn't tell Sam that you went to visit, but for some strange reason Sam was keeping away. She was more focused on playing assassin than her mother being alone and hurt. Maybe it was because Sam tried to prevent it all she could, and it still happened because she can't control when her mom drinks.

Sam had a huge grudge with alchohol. She thinks it caused her to grow wrongly inside of her mother and it could be possible. The effects of drinking while pregnant ruined Sam, but not Melanie. Sam hated that the most. You could clearly remember all those nights Sam had bursts of anger over it. She would yell and get out of control. The worst thing is that she would end it by punching something really hard, and you worried for her when she didn't spend the night at your house.

Eventually she learned how to keep control and deal with the facts. She blames her mother and alchohol respectfully.

"Shelly," Mrs. Puckett said slowly. "No, it's Carly," you corrected, handing her a glass of water so that she can get rid of the beer in her system. "I made two batches of cupcakes while you were gone," she then said like if it was her duty to do that.

"Thanks." You smiled sweetly at her. You wanted a mom.

Even with all the wrong things about Mrs. Puckett, she made you want a mother more than ever. You spent most of the day with her, until she told you to go find Sam. She never said what to do with her, or what to say, just to find her. "Okay Mrs. Puckett, I'll go and find her," you laughed, going upstairs when Buzz came over to care for her. Sam was not home, but you wanted to rest somewhere before leaving. So you figured, why not Sam's room?

Her room wasn't horrific this time, just a little unorganized. You really didn't seem to care, as you threw yourself on Sam's bed and stretched your body around. It felt good.

Sam's room was amazing to you. It was always a mess, but it had nice touches to it. Like the light blue walls, filled with tons of posters. Posters of fighters and music bands and funny pointless stuff. Her calender made you wonder though; it was filled with a bunch of half naked women in bathing suits. You suppose that maybe Sam needed this at one point in her life. It certaintly wasn't there the last time you took a good look at her room.

It made you smile though. There was a medium sized TV in front of her bed on a dresser, with clothes all hung over it. Her shoes were in a messy pile near the closet, and everything was just so Sam. You learned this from when you came home and found your room the way Sam would keep hers.

You rolled over and stuffed your face in Sam's pillow, breathing in everything. It smelled like apples, strangely. Like if Sam washed her hair in applesauce. It seems like something she would do.

Her bed sheets didn't match the wall, and you liked it that way. They were converse red, with gummy bears forming a pattern all over them. Gummy bears seemed to be a thing you Sam and Freddie enjoyed. Oh, and Spencer too. You all had decorations of them somewhere in your house. It was cute actually.

You stared at the single poster of Shelby Marx on the wall next to her bed. Then you looked at the picture of you that she put up across the room. You couldn't help but be completely jealous of Shelby having the attention next to Sam's bed. She looked totally hot, dressed in her small sports bra and short shorts. Her pose was ultamitely sexy you decided, trying to think the way Sam would. It made you wonder if your body was good looking to Sam. And if so, in what ways?

Maybe you should ask her that.

Being in Sam's bed was urking sleep to overcome you. The feeling slowly entered your mind as you started to slip away into heavy sleep. The kind where you don't wake up for anything. Not even dancing monkeys. Everything went blurry and it felt as if you just floated away into a dreamland.

--

Your mother was in your dream. She was helping you pick apples in a field. She was beautiful and you resembled her in almost every way. It was a nice thing to dream about. But then a dark figure came out of no where and grabbed her. There were screams, mostly yours, and you shot awake clutching the nearest object.

Sam was in bed with you when you awoke from your terrifying dream. She was the object you clutched on to. Your nails were digging into her abdomen as you tried to breathe normally and forget about the images of your mother being killed in front of you.

"Carly?" Sam questioned as you wept quietly and stuffed your face into her neck. You were sweaty, and shaking, and god what does this mean? You didn't even care that it was dark out, or that Sam kept calling your name over and over. Or that you were this close to her once again.

Soon Sam stopped calling your name and just comforted you. She rubbed your arms and your back, and pet your semi damp hair back so it wouldn't stick to your face. You keep your eyes shut, not able to open them for long. Tears rushed out of them, like the flowing water fountains in school that kids like to clog for no reason.

Then you melted into her. "Mom," you hicupped into her chest. Sam then immediately wrapped her arms around you and held you closer. She knew the drill everytime you were sad about it.

Thinking about your mother didn't always make you cry, but having dreams like that was too much to handle. You crawled into her lap and stared closely into her blue eyes, sobbing softly. Her expression was concerned and after resting your head on her shoulder for a while, your sobbing ceased and you began to get clouded by lust. Sam was so warm and you fit perfectly in her lap, against her loins. You moved your face closer to her ear and began to breathe heavily against it since your nose was clogged from crying and sniffling. She groped your sides.

You then started to kiss her neck sweetly until she murmured something that sounded like your name. You ignored it by biting her softly.

"Carly," she warned, leaning back a little.

"Please help me forget," you half sobbed. You knew it was wrong to force this but you had to forget. "Forget what Carly? What's going on here?" she asked you softly, afraid that maybe you were on crack.

"My dream, Sam. It was horrible. Please, help me forget," you exasperated already having a heads start by assaulting her neck again and accidently brushing against her groin with your bottom by moving closer.

"Carly!" she hissed, jerking her hips forward. You loved the friction it created at your center. "You should stop," she stated huskily as you nipped all the way up to her ear. "Sam," you moaned into her ear to get her to participate. Her hands clawed at your back as she thought about your condition. "You sure this is the best way?" she asked in a whisper.

You answered her by kissing her roughly on the lips. You were surprisingly dominating her as she responded very slow paced. You were the fast eager one. You were kissing very loudly, the breathing being the only thing audible in the room. You took hold of her hands and shoved them under your shirt to let her cop a feel. Her eyes widened as you pushed under your bra. You were rushing, but you needed this now. She didn't want to move, her face burning up. She just gently squeezed each of your breasts trying not to lose control. You would appreciate it later.

You wiggled your way out of your shirt, throwing it in some direction. Then somehow your legs ended up on either side of her waist, while her hands slid out from under your bra and slowly downward. You hugged her head, knowing how hard it must be to let this happen. "I'm letting this happen," you whispered out of breath. She kissed your stomach lightly.

"Do you want this?" Sam asked unsurely. It seemed like all you wanted was sex. "Do you want this?" you asked back.

"Of course I do..."

You pushed back, sitting on her lap again. "You don't want to do this," Sam spoke seriously.

"Why not?"

Sam then threw herself back and rested her hands behind her head. "I'm...a freak, Carls. You don't want to do this."

You stared back at her, your gaze unwavering. "Sam, you're not a freak. I like everything about you."

"You'll regret this in the morning," she stated coldly and cutting you off.

"How can you say that? Here I am _again_ in your face and it's like...like you don't even care that I want you. I accept you, Sam. Not because we're best friends or because I have to. From the bottom of my heart, I love you. Why can't you just accept the facts? I'm not trying to use you right now. I really wanted this, and it's the only time I have an excuse to maybe get you to want it too. But I guess that doesn't matter anymore because you're assuming that I wouldn't want you."

Sam's eyes were bright, and teary looking. She needed the truth and it was obvious.

"I..." She was speechless.

"Maybe some other time," you murmured, getting off of her completely and locking yourself in the bathroom. You cried there, at the fact that you made yourself look like a fool. Like a whore.

All you wanted was to forget a nightmare by showing Sam some love, but now everything sucked. And now of all times, Sam denies you of everything. How embarrassing.


	6. Moms

Okay, so I know i was gone foreverrrr, but here's an update for ya :) Reminder, this chapter is to pick up with the story line....expect a sexy chapter for the next one ;) Oh, and watch out for my victorious fics when they're out if you like that show....I have plenty of Jade/Tori pairings comin up....review plz :)

* * *

"Carly...let me in."

The bathroom floor was cold, but comfortable. You sat against the door, knees up to your chin. There was no way you were coming out.

"Carly?" you heard a muffled Sam on the other side just hours after you retreated in here. "What?" you sniffed, finally giving her an answer. "Can you please open?" she tried, pulling the handle a few times. You didn't budge.

"Leave me alone Sam," you said softly to avoid an arguement. Then you heard shuffling on the other side. "I could just pick the lock Carly, it's that easy," she sighed, and it felt as if she was sitting the same way with her back against the door. You didn't answer, just wiped your nose and wiggled your toes.

"I understand if you hate me," she murmured. Then it sounded like she was leaving.

"No wait! Sam!" you called out of instinct. You didn't hate her. She couldn't think that.

"Yes, cupcake??" she answered softly against the door. You got up slowly and stood against the door. "I...I don't hate you," you stammered, debating against what you should say to her.

"Then can you let me in? I hate talking to doors," Sam said desperately.

"No, you're gonna hit me." You stood there terrified for some reason. If Sam has a guy somewhere in herself, she might get violent with you. "C'mon, I'll never hit you Carly."

That's really all it took for you to open up and let her inside. When she says your name like that, all soft and full, you know that it's coming from her heart. The care. The love. everything. "My mom made pasta, and cupcakes. So let's go and eat," Sam said, dragging you by the hand. You can tell the way she's trying to avoid verbal contact by mentioning her mother and food. In a way, you were grateful, but this subject had to be brought up again sometime. You needed to apologize and figure out what was going on between you two.

Eating at the table was pretty quiet. The tension between Sam and her mother was dangerous, but only on Sam's side. Mrs. Puckett was the guilty looking one now that she was sober. Still, she had a problem most single mothers soon develop. You were the only one that understood, apparently. You gave Sam looks in between bites of your pasta to make her lighten up a bit. It was like a silent arguement in each other's head for a moment as both your gazes intensified.

Finally, Sam gave in. She can't argue with you for long no matter what. Unless if it were a random debate of course.

Sam then dropped her fork onto her plate dramatically, eliciting a loud clank and turned toward her mother. "How's your leg," she sighed out, obviously not wanting to conversate at all. It didn't even sound like a question. "A little broken," her mother stated. She had that loud accent that seemed like she always yells at everybody. "Good," Sam murmured. Your eyes widened. "Teach you a lesson," she then said and for a moment the mother daughter roles were switched. Or has it been that way all along?

It was quiet again, and killing you. It was hard to eat in these conditions without having eye contact. Sam sort of broke the silence by opening a can of monster and gulping some of it down.

"Samantha, you shouldn't drink that crap. It's bad for you," Mrs. Puckett scolded. Sam set the can down with force. "How the hell so? It's not alchohol, it's just an energy drink," Sam replied a little too viciously.

You held her hand to calm her down and flashed her a half smile. She glanced at you for a moment but didn't listen. "Calm down Sammy, it's still bad for you. Too much sugar since you're naturally hot blooded," Mrs. Puckett argued.

"Mom, don't start with me, like if what you drink is good for you. Focus on you, not me," Sam stated coldly. Just when the matter seemed lost, Mrs. Puckett made a comment that had you choke on juice which you sputtered back into the cup.

"What'd you say?" Sam asked, not quite catching what her mother said.

"I said, energy drinks will shrink your package," Mrs. Puckett said looking at Sam's lap momentarily. Sam flushed after realizing what her mother was getting at. "I have no one to impress," Sam muttered. You felt insulted, forgotten, but then you remembered. Nothing was discussed about what you had going on with her. "Doesn't give you the right to shrink yourself," Mrs. Puckett snickered loudly, infuriating Sam.

"I mean, when you pop your first cherry," she continued. "Woah, mom!!" Sam shouted, making you laugh. Sam wasn't finding this funny at all.

Your giggles stopped abruptly as Sam slammed her fist on the table hard.

"It's not funny damn it!!!"

Her eye contact could kill, and she was glaring at you. "I'm glad you get along well with my mother," she spat, taking all her things and stomping up the stairs. She left you alone with her mother at the kitchen table staring at the seat she once occupied. It really wasn't funny.

The apetite you had just a few minutes ago suddenly vanished and turned into a sick feeling. This wasn't just about taking Sam as a joke, it was also about the poor relationship with her mother. The jealousy Sam held against you with this particular subject. It had to end right away.

Hours and hours have passed. Sam was gone, and her mother was already taken away by her uncle Buzz for the night. There was nothing left to do, but lay in her bed, on the spot Sam would have taken up if she didn't leave. It was cold, making you realize that it has definitely been longer than six hours since Sam was last seen.

It was pretty boring around here without her, and you began to worry about her absence. You thought about where she could possibly be, and what she could possibly be doing.

That wasn't an easy thought. Sam was unpredictable, and even as her best friend it was safe to say that.

At one point, you thought all she needed was time alone, then she'd crawl back in bed late at night. But the possibility was narrowing down as the night got colder and colder. The thought of Sam out there in the freezing cold woke you up literally, as you slipped her shoes on and tied them. She never ties them.

You wished that all you had to do was tap your heels together like The Wizard of Oz and get brought to Sam that way. After subconsciously moving your heels together, you finally got up from the springy bed and made your way out of Sam's house quietly. Even in the dark, walking home shouldn't be so bad.

The Bushwell Plaza lobby was pretty quiet once again, as it was getting late. Lewbert wasn't at his desk so you took that opportunity to run by and avoid his scream fits. You sighed loudly while twisting your key into the lock, moving the tumblers. After hearing the click, you paused for a second to listen at the door. "Ooohhh...," you heard on the other side. Your motherly instincts forced the door open even though you don't have a child and you found Sam on the couch puking up a storm into a small bucket.

That was your child, you thought.

You ran to her side, relieved that you found her here, but also worried about her condition."Sam are you alright!??" you exasperated while holding her hair back for her. After blowing a couple more chunks, she wiped her mouth and slowed down her breathing. Then she turned and embraced you.

It was a surprise hug, but you sat there holding her until what ever pain went away. You wanted to ask so many question....like where's Spencer, and where did she go before, and why was she puking, but you let it pass for now. You lay down slowly, pushing her under you and getting to her side.

"I love you Sam....don't you forget it," you whispered. She responded by hiccuping, but it made you smile. She was crying, but you knew they were happy tears.

"Carly?" Sam choked out.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"You're making me hard," she whispered.

You peered down to see Sam's legs in a mess of blankets, but naked.

"Oh my god.......Sam...."


End file.
